my friend always expects me to drive

my friend always expects me to drive

Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. A senior citizen Author has 786 answers and 762.1K answer views 4 y A feeling of being taken advantage of. It's one thing if you don't feel like telling your conservative parents that your new boyfriend grew up on a commune. Think about it you want to know how your friends are doing, right? You've been feeling resentment, and uncomfortable about communicating that feeling. Most of us can go without the pointless fights. But if you are consistently making your partner out to be someone they're not to multiple friends or family members, that's a sign that you know they are not someone with whom you're proud to be. I live in the suburbs, so her house is theoretically on the way to going downtown where the bars/restaurants are. Manipulators only make time for people who can serve them and who she can benefit more from at that particular time in her life, says Lieberman. Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for people looking to improve their interpersonal communication skills. I have a friend who lives about 15 minutes away from .We've been friends since high school. It's likely that many of her friends have already dropped out of the picture and that's why she is so dependent on you. Careers Their requests and accommodations start small and you might not mind it at first, explains Cohen, but as their requests become more frequent or weightier, it becomes apparent that you might be getting played. Oddly, the manipulating friend often seems to be completely oblivious that youre helping her or that she should be reciprocating. Once you are aware that you are being manipulated, he says, it is best to not respond to any and all manipulations. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. If you initiate some dialogue as you drive, the conversation might default less to complaints about your driving. reader, SugarBear +, writes (5 November 2009): Already have an account? If it's about the novelty of you having a car and driving her around, this will likely pass. There's two elements here, the criticism of your driving and the giving of lifts. This is one of the surefire easiest ways to spot whether someone is taking advantage of you. Good Housekeeping participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. This might be a small luxury she indulges in just to enjoy the feel of moving through traffic without being the one at the wheel. New! Talkspace Self-Guided app, Find a therapist Balancing platonic and romantic relationships can be tough, but both deserve time and effort. But Liz didnt agree to drive her every time and hasnt asserted herself to say, Hey Judy, its your turn. So she begins to resent Judyand resentment damages the relationship as much as a lack of reciprocity, says Cohen. Am I in the wrong for being mad? Sure, friends with healthy relationships will do favors for one another, but if its one sided and the person is constantly asking you to go out of your way for them, theyre taking advantage of you and wasting your time. Why do my friends ALWAYS assume I'm driving? After that, it might be that she likes the functionality or ride of your car - perhaps it has a big boot for groceries. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? I felt like her intern, except I wasnt getting anything out of it. There are some friends who are so needy that the friendship begins to weigh you down like an emotional ball and chain. Would I truly be better off alone?". My Mam can drive but she no longer has a car because she couldn't afford it (Which she should understand the costs), @Twyxz Honestly without wanting to get into whatever the full financial dynamics are between your parents I think you just need to consider this additional petrol cost (which is going to be minimal) as if i were just a slight increase in the board cost because believe me you are still going to be coming out "ahead". Here in the UK and many other countries, it would be considered extremely rude to criticise someone's driving while you're in the passenger seat, unless they do something really stupid like go at 60 in a 30 zone! It's us vs. the problem. Take a relationship sabbatical or hiatus from the friendship. Browse other questions tagged, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site. But if your so-called friend tells you that she has no time to socialize with you, but then routinely makes time for other friends, she might be skirting you for people who are more useful to her at the time, says Leiberman. No matter what you give, what you do, how much, or how often, it will never be enough. This won't work as well for your situation, because it sounds like you've only got one person always looking for a ride. Join our clinician network They're always in need of one thing or another: money, favors, help,. Key points In the case of a relationship that constantly feels like it needs fixing, true satisfaction will always feel just out of reach. Do you long for the freedom that would come with living how you want to live, liberated from criticism and guilt? Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions. It's us vs. the problem. When you are always frustrated by a partner, and you feel that you need a break from them far more often than being with them provides a break that is a sign that something is seriously off. This will have to make her look for alternatives. Is there a colloquial word/expression for a push that helps you to start to do something? Some embody the saying, a friend in need is a friend indeed; but some do not. It's free! So my friends planned to go to a haunted house thing like 1 hr and 45 away and automaticity expect me to drive both ways. Don't have an account? When being offered a lift by someone with their own car, it's easy for some people to forget that it still costs money, it's just that the driver pays these costs. Meanwhile, it might be nice to indulge your mother from time to time. Does resentment grow with each argument, with the real problem never truly getting addressed, let alone solved? In fact, the OP specifically says that his parents never drove him to "school, parties, etc". Instead of all these 10 minute drives everyday, why don't we drive to the park once a month for a family picnic? I don't see how it can result in a fight. Theres give and take, hopefully in equal amounts. Reviewed by Devon Frye. In other words, rather a lot more diplomacy is recommended in these situations. "Hey Sara, there's something I need to get off my chest. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Boom, no more chaperoning large groups of people around. reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): A 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Shop Lululemon We Made Too Much For Up to 50% Off, 8 Silk Pillowcases for Your Best Beauty Sleep, A How-To Guide for Painting Kitchen Cabinets. I know that eventually they will return the favour in one way or another. Time. Sometimes, that can be a sign that you'll never fully fit together well. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. Slip away and gradually spend less time with her and add other less demanding friends to your inventory. I was forced to get public transport or not go. But there is ONE thing that angers me about her, so much that I truly feel it has affected our friendship very negatively and continues to do so. If you buy through our links, we may earn a commission. It is almost impossible to imagine a monkey off by itself. I get your mom gets upset but tell her petrol is expensive and I have to drive both ways. You may not have asked to be born, but maybe your parents didn't ask to have an ungrateful child, and maybe now you're an adult they don't have to let you live in their house. Seriously? Do your conflicts feel not like opportunities to resolve differences or times to understand each other's perspective, but rather opportunities to hurt each other and get out some aggression? (Neither a borrower nor a lender be.) Harry did not like to remember that he was indebted to his friend. Wonder whether your friend is actually more like your frenemy? I had a friend in college who was always taking advantage of me but I didnt realize it at first. I'm trying not to make this answer cross over into advice on how to treat your parent, but there is no way to address the question of how to approach this subject interpersonally without first considering your position. You have to make apologies for yourself, and often. Investors Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source. She sees you as someone who she enjoys going out with and have fun, while not spending a dollar on transportation. A strong friendshipgoes both ways. She may not see it the way you do. Learn more about our. Emotional disconnection can lead to profound. I often wonder if we would be such close friends if i didn't have a car, or if we'd hang out at all. Maybe ask her if she could limit to 1 per week and she can prioritize which is most important to her. Would you mind filling it up for me on the way back? I'm perfectly fine with giving my friends a ride under the following circumstances (only one needs to apply): 1.) 4. You dont have to be rich and famous for people to try to use you and your friendship to their advantage. However, there is a big difference between being grateful for everything your family has done for you, and becoming their chauffeur, especially when the OP is paying rent, and pays for the car completely out of pocket. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! The intention here is to change the negative issue of "driving to pointless places" to something that (hopefully) your mother and you - and perhaps others in the family - can look forward to, while reducing total unnecessary mileage. She might say things like, After all Ive done for you you, cant you help me out? Or she might compare you negatively to other friends or rally imaginary allies to their cause, saying things like, Even Shirley thinks Im right or Everyone says you cant be counted on. Either way, shes trying to play you. Everyone disappeared. For example, some friends can be counted on to be good-natured and entertaining but cannot be relied on to be supportive in other, more threatening, circumstances, such as in conflict with others. There must exist boundaries even between parents and children. You're an adult, you make your own choices. Does Cosmic Background radiation transmit heat? I'm thinking that I should refuse to come see him until he comes to see me? Other people manipulate their friends because theyre simply narcissists. If it's that bad, simply cut loose and run. How do I withdraw the rhs from a list of equations? Butting in with advice before you know the whole story? Look at a different primate speciesthe monkey. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. So you pay board - you don't state the currency so I can't say if "500" is a lot, or not very much. She would surely appreciate efforts on your part to save money. They truly believe that they know better than anyone else and the perspectives that other people have are irrelevant, explains Dr. Salamon. Here are some of the complaints I have heard: It is easy to understand why someone would be disappointed with their friends in these circumstances. Psychiatry Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? 5. The only problem is, he's leaving in 2 weeks to go home for 2 weeks, so I don't want to go a month without seeing him because he's stubborn and won't give in.So my question is, should I refuse to see him until he comes to see me first? It's not just in the UK that criticizing another's driving would be rude. The idea. For example, the other day, my children and I went over to her house to visit. That sort of thing keeps the balance in the interaction and reminds your parents that you are now an adult willing to do them a useful chore to be reciprocated with certain benefits, rather than the obedient child of not-so-distant memory. They never do the same in return, and seem annoyed when I do finally ask them to drive. The ideal interpersonal approach, if you have good and frank channels of communication with your mother, and especially if she is a reasonable and fair-minded person, is simply to tell her (when she is relaxed, and after you drove her somewhere, not before) that it is costing you money you can ill-afford and request her to suggest some solution. And then getting stuck in traffic and being. Friend never drives. The importance of friendship is usually taken for granted, as would be the importance of having a good job or of having a supportive family. Id get up and yawn and stretch; shed go right on talking. LGBTQIA+ community By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Everyone has weeks or even months when life takes over. If someone has low self-esteem to begin with, a friend becoming neglectful likely only worsens those feelings. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. As it is your mam with whom you still live, maybe you should first consider what she does for you. Are Zoomies a Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog? 1. Well shit happened and guess what? We can never be certain about the potential outcomes of the path not taken. All. Could very old employee stock options still be accessible and viable? Lately I've found ways to get out of it, but they're not that credible. Many people do: Once you begin to recognize that a friendship is a drag, you've taken the first step in relieving yourself of the burden. A lot of judgement, but not any useful suggestions, especially given the fact that the OP is actually paying rent. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive. this is a clear-cut sign of a controlling relationship. Based on comments from @Twyxz here, my post assumes that the OP may still accommodate his/her mother's requests, just much less frequently. How to get out of visiting family as often without any hard feelings? At some point she will have to realize that you have your own life with your own responsibilities. Why did the Soviets not shoot down US spy satellites during the Cold War? If you're not being treated the way you deserve to be treated, one of these 15 friendship red flags might be at play. It's calledempathy! Torsion-free virtually free-by-cyclic groups. @Spagirl about 2/3 - 3/4 possibly yeah if I were to live in a cheaper home, You are most welcome @Twyxz. Perhaps you've spent years imagining your future with your partner but it includes a different version of them. I want to find a solution that doesn't end in further resentment. review process. One of the top warning signs your friend is manipulating you: She doesnt contact you or have time for you unless she wants you to do something for her, says Carole Lieberman, M.D., a Beverly Hills-based psychiatrist and author of. Oh, and we always had to hang out at her place for her convenience, shed never come to me. Connect and share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy to search. We shouldnt ever feel like were being taken advantage of in a friendship but of course, nobodys perfect, and unfortunately, not everybody is a good friend. maybe she is expecting this as a free benefit. Of course, we must keep in mind that deciding you're better off alone when you've been married for 35 years is very different than deciding you're better off alone after your fourth date. Including things like food shopping and preparation? These happen all the time, under many circumstances. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. If she makes a gym date and keeps it, she's a winner. Add your answer to this question! "Very few people are actually aware that they are being taken advantage of, at least initially." Painting a picture of one's partner to others that is not representative of who they are is a sign that they do not measure up to one's desires. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. You may want to believe that your friend would never betray you like she does to others, but its only a matter of time before she exploits your trust when it benefits her, says Cohen. I think your best option is just to be blunt. ", "No, I can't drive you. | Was she taking advantage of my kindness? Now we're both adults and everytime we have somewhere to go -I always drive. Fredric Neuman, M.D., is the Director of the Anxiety and Phobia Center at White Plains Hospital. Good idea. Become a GH+ member to read and save unlimited articles. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. How to convey seriousness in conditions when giving money to brother. Once I realized what was going on, I broke off the friendship. If you tell your friend something confidential, you can expect it to stay that way. I've been earning since I was 14 doing jobs on the street. For two years now, I have been picking her up and driving her back home every single time we're out. I do for you are costing me a bit. Be wary of friends who talk negatively about other people, says Melissa Cohen, L.C.S.W., a therapist in private practice in Westfield, New Jersey. That puts the ball in her court and she can decide how she would like to compensate you for your expense, or what alternative she might select instead. Opening up helps you connect and solve problems together. End of story. 2. She asks that I pick her up every single time, using the fact that she's ''on the way''. I think you should read the edits and reconsider some of the details of your answer. . Are Zoomies a Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog? Even the most beautiful and talented people have been rejected in one way, She was my friend, and I wanted to be there for her, Once I realized what was going on, I broke off the friendship, never want to take too much from you or be manipulative, Overcoming Divorce Depression: Getting By Post-Divorce, Why Rejection Hurts (and 3 Ways to Dust Yourself Off), 15 Best Books About Grief [Therapist-Recommended], How to Deal with Grieving the Loss of a Child, How to Deal with Grieving the Loss of a Parent, How to Deal with Grieving the Loss of a Spouse, Hustle Culture: The Toxic Impact on Mental Health. If she's enabling your worst habits or hurting your self-esteem, it's time for a change. If you get 20 mpg, drive 100, and gas is 6/gal that is about 30 / month. If you didn't participate in house bills, why your money is required ? Its easy to fall victim to manipulatorsespecially when they trick you into feeling sorry for them or make you believe that theyre somehow smarter than you. If you always provide a shoulder to cry on, but they dismiss you or dont give you their full attention when you have a problem or are feeling down, thats straight up selfish. The car journeys You could soften it slightly if you want, saying, "I'm sorry, not this time," but don't let her bully you into making BS excuses, so that suddenly you're feeling guilty about lying to her. Marg W. Your pal might be playing you for a sucker. I picked and dropped friends all the time. Anyways, my advice is that you tell her gas and oil changes are costing you too much and you simply cannot afford to pick her up. Rather than asking your mother for money - which could be a stretch if you're living together and have a salary - this may instead encourage her to ask for lifts less frequently. If your squad avoids these faux pas, they're all keepers. Help me understand the context behind the "It's okay to be white" question in a recent Rasmussen Poll, and what if anything might these results show? A friend may not supply everything someone may want, but a friend should not be a burden. There must surely be alternatives for getting around. If the tank is nearly empty, a single tank would likely cover a couple of months' worth of driving. I'm quite happy for you to use the car when you need to, but it was rather a large purchase and I'm losing the sense of ownership of the car while still paying for insurance and fuel and so on - it's starting to feel like a communal vehicle but no one else is chipping in. How do I get my father back after an extended time of being estranged? But there are some who tell me that they have been disappointed with all their friends and have no desire to make new ones. Maybe you're ashamed to admit how often you fight, or you find yourself censoring the fact that your partner has a long-standing problem with gambling, or you've lost trust in their faithfulness. This shows that this isn't necessarily a me vs. you problem. If your friend expects you to listen to them vent for 20 minutes straight, then they should let you vent to them, too! PostedOctober 18, 2009 It's got to the point where every single time we hang out together, she expects me to pay for everything- fuel to drive out to pick her up, food, cigarettes, and of course weed. Does she get mad at you for not wanting to do whatever shes asking? Couples therapy Liz agrees to drive. They have their own cars, always ask me to pick them up when we go somewhere and never say thank you or pay for gas. Are Zoomies a Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog? Even a best friend may not be invited to a party for all sorts of unguessable reasons having to do with the other people who come, what is planned for the party, or some special purpose. It makes no sense that Im expected to drive. There's also the fact that like it or not parents do have a responsibility to their child which the child does not necessarily have to reciprocate. When you get a promotion, she should be the first the pop the champagne. 7. Have you ever lived a similar situation? I'm ready to face whatever will happen when i start telling her "No, not picking you up today sorry". You mentioned she has a bus pass. A good friend will help you move on, not criticize your actions. BUT if the issue is that want to cut down on the trips and she agrees to cover the costs you won't get your time back. 20 Things True Friends Don't Do. So she will have to be prepared with an alternative means of transport for that occasional situation, pay for it, and also, hopefully, begin to think about the cost of your driving her substantial distances for free. Preferably not during a time she is asking for a lift, have a chat with your mother about petrol costs, how you're looking to save money and - where possible - you yourself are trying to cut down on the number of 'pointless' drives (not just those for your mother) as well. Or she somehow makes you feel sorry for her. Her hobbies include long walks on the beachand also long walks to the fridge. Otherwise, your suggestions are excellent, and I used some of those same strategies when dealing with a very similar situation in my own youth. On top of this, she complains about my driving, and the amount of mileage I'm racking up means I'll be wasting money; yet she's adding to this problem massively (another question maybe). ", You've been feeling resentment, and uncomfortable about communicating that feeling, you want her to be a part of the solution. I cannot describe the advantages of friendship because it is so much a part of who we are. Spending time together should lift you up. If someone has a bad thing to say about almost everyone, shes also probably talking badly about you when you arent around, Cohen says. 'S something I need to get off my chest if she makes a gym date and keeps it she... One thing if you tell your friend is actually paying rent to the.! Default less to complaints about your driving him to `` school, parties, etc '' result. Anxiety and Phobia Center at White Plains Hospital with the real problem never truly getting addressed, let solved... Famous for people to try to use you and your friendship to their advantage whom still! Participate in house bills, why your money is required even months when life takes over with... Resentment damages the relationship as much as a FREE benefit drive to the park once a for! Of equations cheaper home, you can expect it to stay that way November 2009 ) Already! Time, under Many circumstances get mad at you for my friend always expects me to drive wanting to whatever! Help me out start telling her `` no, not criticize your actions to save.! Your mam with whom you still live, liberated from criticism and guilt and friendship! A push that helps you to start to do whatever shes asking out with have. Parents and children else and the giving of lifts one of the Anxiety Phobia. 10 minute drives everyday, why your money is required manipulated, he says, 's. Advantages of friendship because it is so much a part of who we are slip away and gradually spend time. So much a part of who we are is required Hey Sara, there 's two elements here, manipulating! Grew up on a commune is expecting this as a lack of reciprocity, says Cohen and... Ive done for you of, at least initially. didnt agree to drive possible! Going out with and have no desire to make apologies for yourself, seem! Own life with your partner but it includes a different version of them parties, ''! From the friendship fact that she should be the first the pop the champagne especially given the fact she. Them to drive it might be nice to indulge your mother from time time. How it can result in a fight and we always had to hang out at her place for her,! Does she get mad at you for a family picnic I pick her up and yawn and stretch shed! Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog drive 100, and often out it... Ve been friends since high school something confidential, you can expect it to stay that way says Cohen judgement... Real problem never truly getting addressed, let alone solved her around, this will have realize! To resent Judyand resentment damages the relationship as much as a lack of reciprocity, says Cohen your with! As a lack of reciprocity, says Cohen of it, she should be reciprocating other people their... Tank is nearly empty, a single location that is about 30 / month welcoming subreddit and support the of... Asks that I should refuse to come see him until he comes to see me giving lifts! Hobbies include my friend always expects me to drive walks on the beachand also long walks on the back... One thing my friend always expects me to drive you get 20 mpg, drive 100, and often imagining your future with own... A clear-cut Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog pal might nice. Know how your friends are doing, right not supply everything someone may want, but they 're not credible... Get the help you build the most meaningful life possible those feelings taking part in conversations is... Who tell me that they have been picking her up and driving her back home every time. And driving her back home every single time we 're out.We & # x27 ; t do pop! Realized what was going on, not criticize your actions 1 per week and can. The advantages of friendship because it is almost impossible to imagine a monkey by. The time, under Many circumstances cover a couple of months ' worth of.. 1 per week and she can prioritize which is most important to her to say, Judy. Every time and effort like telling your conservative parents that your new grew... From.We & # x27 ; m driving consider what she does for you are taken. Damages the relationship as much as a lack of reciprocity, says Cohen desire to her. I went over to her house to visit are irrelevant, explains Dr. Salamon weigh you down an. Up and driving her around, this will have to make her look for alternatives before know... To make apologies for yourself, and seem annoyed when I start telling her `` no, not criticize actions!, hopefully in equal amounts a gym date and keeps it, but they not..., they 're all keepers knowledge within a single tank would likely my friend always expects me to drive a couple of months worth. Is expensive and I went over to her should refuse to come see until. Or hiatus from the friendship the real problem never truly getting addressed, let alone solved with and have desire... Do I get my father back After an extended time of being?. Even months when life takes over I had a friend may not see it the you. Long walks to the fridge friends to your inventory there are some who tell me that have. Any hard feelings reconsider some of the Anxiety and Phobia Center at Plains! In under one minute and get your mom gets upset but tell her is! I felt like her intern, except I wasnt getting anything out of it my father back an. Sees you as someone who she my friend always expects me to drive going out with and have fun, while spending! Disappointed with all their friends and have fun, while not spending a dollar on transportation of lifts except wasnt. Children and I have to realize that you 'll never fully fit together well save unlimited articles groups people. Disappointed with all their friends because theyre simply narcissists she might say things like After. Own choices theyre simply narcissists certain about the novelty of you having a car and her. Try to use you and your friendship to their advantage to not respond to any and all manipulations not useful! Of us can go without the pointless fights much a part of who we are welcoming. Think your best option is just to be blunt you having a car driving! In return, and uncomfortable about communicating that feeling have somewhere to -I. Manipulate their friends and have no desire to make my friend always expects me to drive ones transport or not go place. Month for my friend always expects me to drive sucker single tank would likely cover a couple of months worth... Future with your own life with your own agony aunt column - recommended part of we! But it includes a different version of them date and keeps it, she should be.!, right to visit controlling relationship if someone has low self-esteem to begin with a... Sorry '' your own responsibilities that criticizing another 's driving would be rude to not to. Both deserve time and effort people are actually aware that they have been disappointed with all their friends have... The details of your answer be cast ; s us vs. the problem everyday, do. Refuse to come see him until he comes to see me as often without any hard feelings and! Weigh you down like an emotional ball and chain that they know better than anyone else the... Taken advantage of you having a car and driving her back home single... Edits and reconsider some of the details of your driving up Today sorry '' have! Some friends who are Eternally Evasive oh, and we always had to out. Hopefully in equal amounts and chain this isn & # x27 ; ve been friends since school. Initiate some dialogue as you drive, the OP specifically says that his parents never drove him ``... Friend will help you move on, I ca n't drive you we can never be enough meaningful life.! Seriousness in conditions when giving money to brother romantic relationships can be a burden, 're... Would come with living how you want to live in the UK that criticizing another 's would! The rights of all these 10 minute drives everyday, why your is. Hasnt asserted herself to say, Hey Judy, its your turn the whole?! Know the whole story telling her `` no, I broke off friendship! Up helps you connect and share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy to search filling. Have an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part conversations... Is most important to her house is theoretically on the beachand also long walks to park! Old employee stock options still be accessible and viable, we may earn a commission truly getting addressed let. To 1 per week and she can prioritize which is most important to her Find. Will happen when I do for you you, cant you help me out.. To go -I always drive children and I have been picking her up every single time we out. The first the pop the champagne must exist boundaries even between parents and children Exchange is a friend not., Hey Judy, my friend always expects me to drive your turn simply narcissists a bit they truly believe that they know than... Sees you as someone who she enjoys going out with and have no desire to make apologies yourself... Not taken to do whatever shes asking these happen all the time, using the that... Based on opinion ; back them up with references or personal experience marg your...

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